Obviously I'm not much of a lovely or even doting person to begin with. I've been through numerous relationships that baffled me. Most of them are only two, three months short. Haha. Don't get me wrong but when I thought about all the wrong choices that I made, over the good ones. I'm actually blessed that I involved myself in complicated relationships rather than those typical mushy-mushy fairy tale romance fantasy.

What motivates me to get over boys was myself. I kept telling myself that "life's too short to be serious about, so I'll always be flirting and mingling." And so the concept goes on, and on. I'll never declare myself to be in a serious relationship with anyone. Anyone. Because this is a big commitment, coming from a seventeen year old girl. As long as I'm still living with my parents, they're my only commitment. And a commitment is something that you will be attached to, almost for the rest of your life.

What disgusts me is that.. Uno, romance bores me. It's just like a movie genre. All it does is make you cry. It's so sensitive and soft and come on. You only want your relationships to end up in a happy ending like those movies, right? Because this is life, it's reality. People aren't always concerned about love 24/7. It gets kind of boring and effortless for nothing.

Another disgusting thought is that dos, couples. What's up with the terms "forever" and "only one"?! Marriage is a different term but I'm pointing out to teenage couples this days. These words are so fashionable. "I love you, forever", "tIlL dEaTh Do Us PaRt" and.. "Gurlfran/Boifran's only one". I can place a bet that if that couple doesn't stay true for at least seven years or until they get married, they're just plain bullshit. And it's humorous because these things are coming from kids! Teenagers and youths. Why can't they just draw out the bigger picture that they're only in a relationship. Not a life-time commitment such as a marriage? And what's with the pet names such as "hubby" and "wifey". Baby is enough lah. You have not even tied a knot to be calling each other spouses. And if he's your hubby and she's your wifey, how come you're still living with your parents. Do you fulfill your responsibilities as a spouse? No. I bet you don't even know any.

The fact is that people like us are still minors.

Forcing ourself to believe that they're really the only ones we need and can trust. That is such a narrowed concept. I mean, how sure of yourself are you. Out of the estimated six billion people on earth, why are you so convinced that your "steady" haha, is the one you see yourself tying a knot with. It's really a vague picture. Because when they break up, they get emotional and disturbed they turn this love into hate, expressing anger because that person doesn't want you back or had his/her feelings changed. It's really not their fault. I think it's only human to make mistakes in life. Oh well, this is just my two cents worth.

But don't mistake me. I'm happy to be in a relationship. I'm in it for the experience. But I'm not really sure if I found the proper term of what "love" means, and how to express it to him. But it's definitely not about sex and money. Commonly, a lot of people seek and demand for that in their relationships. How weird is the world today?

luvv, Saw